As I watch my domestic worker stare at me trying to manouver out of the driveway, I wonder to myself "what on earth could he be thinking?" It made me wonder how things would look from his perspective. Imagine if he had a Twitter account and was as frequent as we are? Heres how I think an average day would look:
6:00am: Shoutout to my homeboys @Bilaal @itsThaMuazzin; what a night! wonder if the musalli found his shoes? #blameitonthelaaities
7:00am: @Thombi have you seen my broom?
7:02am: @Thombi not yours. the shitty straw broom. Nvm, i'll use the house one instead.
7:05: Its a driveway, it's meant to get dirty!!! rate i'll just hide these leaves behind the potplant...
7:30: Yusuf across the road giving me dirty looks coz I didnt return his ladder #getoverit
8:00: Sweeping the inside. With the outside broom. I'm such a rebel.
8:30: Boss is still asleep. Rate I'll start vacuuming outside his room now.
8:35: Grumpy old man. See how well I wash your dishes tonight #Muahahahaha
9:00: That awkward moment when your wiping down the kitchen counter and the sweet cupboard opens in your face. #bluedoritos #afteriftaarsnack
9:15: Missus asks me to grate the cheese and chop the vegetables. Must remember to wash hands this time.
9:17: Clean the chickens? Want me to cook supper too?
9:45: @Rahman @Rafik if only these women knew where their ilaachi goes #lmao
10:00: Switched off bathroom light while missus was inside. Need to lay low for a while.
11:00: Hellooooo? Is anybody home?
11:03: @Thombi enjoy the ironing hahahahahahahahaha
11:30: Ahhh. Caught a nap in bosses bed. Feel refreshed now #downpillows(y)
11:45: Ahhh again. That'll teach your for making me wash your bathrooms.
11:46: Almost forgot to flush. That was a close one.
12:00: Lunch time. Wonder what's in the fridge?
12:15: Tired of effing finding chicken in the ice cream tubs. Wtf with these people.
12:30: Just remembered I'm fasting. Need to save my appetite for the masjid chows.
12:45: Nice pair of sunglasses. Need a new Twitpic anyway.
12:46: @Thombi Come downstairs. Need you to take a picture of me.
13:00: Shit. Womans home. Act busy act busy.
13:15: Guess I'll clean the garage. LOLJKZ. #youcantseeme
13:30: This is boring. Should probably send please call me to girlfriend.
14:00: Where the shit is my feather duster? @Thombi stop hiding my stuff!!!
14:30: Fetching chicken fillets from downstairs. Should pass a good ten minutes.
14:40: Sent back down because I brought up Mince instead #gullibleemployers
15:00: Why won't this day end???
15:30: Forgot to do the washing. Shit. Best make sharp.
16:00: Swear this kids briefs look like a getaway car #skidmarks. #wtf
16:05: Light load of clothes today. Might as well throw my overalls in too.
16:07: @Thombi no I will not throw yours in as well
16:08: @Thombi go ahead and tell them. I know where the Panados have been going.
16:10: @Thombi that's what I thought #uzokshaya
16:30: Half an hour left. Must take time closing curtains
16:35: WTF where did that gecko come from? Will leave it inside #surpriseinyourroom
17:00: Freedom she is bliss. If I walk fast I can reach the mosque bench before the other Malawians
17:10: HAHAHA #topofthefoodchain
17:21: Almost time to break fast. Stop trying to hide your pies uncle. I've got my eyes on you.
17:23: Samoosas? Send them send them #notcomingback
19:30: Epic nap. Now for Taraweeh @ItsTheMuazzin where did you say they keep the ice cream?
21:30: Sorry uncles. No dessert for you #Paddlepopfordays
23:30: Wonder how my family is? I'll send them a please call me before I call it a night.
23:35: "Please call ALLGUD." Nice to know. Bedtime @Thombi I can hear whats in your room. Keep it down woman.
23:37 @Thombi thats not you? Jeez thats loud. Must be the kajoor. #bedtime
6:00am: Shoutout to my homeboys @Bilaal @itsThaMuazzin; what a night! wonder if the musalli found his shoes? #blameitonthelaaities
7:00am: @Thombi have you seen my broom?
7:02am: @Thombi not yours. the shitty straw broom. Nvm, i'll use the house one instead.
7:05: Its a driveway, it's meant to get dirty!!! rate i'll just hide these leaves behind the potplant...
7:30: Yusuf across the road giving me dirty looks coz I didnt return his ladder #getoverit
8:00: Sweeping the inside. With the outside broom. I'm such a rebel.
8:30: Boss is still asleep. Rate I'll start vacuuming outside his room now.
8:35: Grumpy old man. See how well I wash your dishes tonight #Muahahahaha
9:00: That awkward moment when your wiping down the kitchen counter and the sweet cupboard opens in your face. #bluedoritos #afteriftaarsnack
9:15: Missus asks me to grate the cheese and chop the vegetables. Must remember to wash hands this time.
9:17: Clean the chickens? Want me to cook supper too?
9:45: @Rahman @Rafik if only these women knew where their ilaachi goes #lmao
10:00: Switched off bathroom light while missus was inside. Need to lay low for a while.
11:00: Hellooooo? Is anybody home?
11:03: @Thombi enjoy the ironing hahahahahahahahaha
11:30: Ahhh. Caught a nap in bosses bed. Feel refreshed now #downpillows(y)
11:45: Ahhh again. That'll teach your for making me wash your bathrooms.
11:46: Almost forgot to flush. That was a close one.
12:00: Lunch time. Wonder what's in the fridge?
12:15: Tired of effing finding chicken in the ice cream tubs. Wtf with these people.
12:30: Just remembered I'm fasting. Need to save my appetite for the masjid chows.
12:45: Nice pair of sunglasses. Need a new Twitpic anyway.
12:46: @Thombi Come downstairs. Need you to take a picture of me.
13:00: Shit. Womans home. Act busy act busy.
13:15: Guess I'll clean the garage. LOLJKZ. #youcantseeme
13:30: This is boring. Should probably send please call me to girlfriend.
14:00: Where the shit is my feather duster? @Thombi stop hiding my stuff!!!
14:30: Fetching chicken fillets from downstairs. Should pass a good ten minutes.
14:40: Sent back down because I brought up Mince instead #gullibleemployers
15:00: Why won't this day end???
15:30: Forgot to do the washing. Shit. Best make sharp.
16:00: Swear this kids briefs look like a getaway car #skidmarks. #wtf
16:05: Light load of clothes today. Might as well throw my overalls in too.
16:07: @Thombi no I will not throw yours in as well
16:08: @Thombi go ahead and tell them. I know where the Panados have been going.
16:10: @Thombi that's what I thought #uzokshaya
16:30: Half an hour left. Must take time closing curtains
16:35: WTF where did that gecko come from? Will leave it inside #surpriseinyourroom
17:00: Freedom she is bliss. If I walk fast I can reach the mosque bench before the other Malawians
17:10: HAHAHA #topofthefoodchain
17:21: Almost time to break fast. Stop trying to hide your pies uncle. I've got my eyes on you.
17:23: Samoosas? Send them send them #notcomingback
19:30: Epic nap. Now for Taraweeh @ItsTheMuazzin where did you say they keep the ice cream?
21:30: Sorry uncles. No dessert for you #Paddlepopfordays
23:30: Wonder how my family is? I'll send them a please call me before I call it a night.
23:35: "Please call ALLGUD." Nice to know. Bedtime @Thombi I can hear whats in your room. Keep it down woman.
23:37 @Thombi thats not you? Jeez thats loud. Must be the kajoor. #bedtime
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